Lovely Insanity
by HermioneTwin
Summary: Hermione’s mental state finds itself quite unbalanced when the poor girl becomes involved with a certain, charming Slytherin. Can she keep herself from going over the edge…or will she find that insanity can be quite lovely after all? DM/HG oneshot!


**A/N: This is just my interpretation of Hermione's mental state during a very passionate ****(and secret) love affaire with Malfoy. If you think about it, Hermione **_**would**_** be confused as Hell if she found herself falling for the guy. She'd still hate his guts but couldn't help succumbing to his Slytherin sexiness…*smiles dreamily* **

**It's short… and dumb…and its time period is undetermined… but I'm hoping that you'll like it! Plus, I haven't posted a thing in months. I was starting to feel guilty!**

**Much love to all of you,**

**Jess **

**Disclaimer: If it were mine, I wouldn't put its characters through this Hell. Honestly, if the Harry Potter personas knew what we fanfiction writers make them do on a daily basis, they'd have serious rage issues.**

**Lovely Insanity**

I'm crazy. I've gone over the edge. I am LOOPY, you hear me? Absolutely, ding dong insane!

You wanna know why? Of course you don't! You're a spare piece of parchment that I just found under my desk! Why am I spilling my guts out to you anyway?

…

Ok, the answer to THAT is obvious. If I were to relate any of the thoughts that are going through my head right now to Harry or Ron, they'd have me incarcerated. With good reason too…I AM crazy after all. But we've already established that fact, haven't we?

So, not that you're dying to know, being inanimate and all, but I shall now tell you the reason behind my sudden psychosis.

I, Hermione Granger, just glanced at Draco Malfoy.

Now, I know what you're thinking…despite the fact that you don't have any brain cells. That isn't such an insane occurrence, right? But get this, when I glanced at him, the word that came to my mind wasn't, "moron"! The mental image of a ferret didn't pop into my head either! I felt no sudden urge to puke, no confusion towards my faith in humanity's ability to be good, no desire to scream bloody murder….I didn't even feel like shoving a quill into his hear.

I looked at him…and I thought, "Huh…Malfoy looks cute today".

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

Did somebody slip something in my pumpkin juice this morning? Did I stand in front of the microwave for too long? Has somebody poisoned me with BATTERY ACID or something?

When looking at Malfoy, the word, "cute" shouldn't even _graze_ the edge of my private thoughts. It should be no where NEAR my mental dictionary. It shouldn't even be hidden somewhere in the deep, dark psychological abyss labelled: non-catholic fantasies.

It shouldn't bloody EXIST!

And it gets worse…

After thinking that-that…_unspeakable_ thought, I suddenly felt the need to…to…

RUN MY HANDS THROUGH HIS STUPID HAIR!

I know, I'm a freak! I should be thrown into a lion pit… which is a nice metaphor, considering my Gryffindor friends.

And guess what? It doesn't even end there…after staring at his hair for two whole minutes, I suddenly found myself wishing that he wasn't wearing such a thick sweater. Why, you might ask? Because you can't see his bloody abs through that DAMN SHIRT!

Oh dear Merlin…I just got mad at his shirt again. This PROVES my unstable mental state. First I have a heart-to-heart conversation with a piece of parchment, and now I'm getting pissed at a shirt. I'll have to go shopping for one of those white, stretchy coats with the attachable sleeves tonight. I can't be trusted around people anymore…

Damn, the bell just rang. Thanks for listening.

...

A very distressed looking Hermione got to her feet and stuffed the long piece of parchment that she had been scribbling on for the past hour into her bag. Harry and Ron gave her a strange look, but decided to shrug it off. Hermione had been acting oddly for weeks now. They had both chalked it up to a girl thing. Maybe they all went through bi-polar phases…

Grabbing her books and taking a deep breath, Hermione decided that a nap was now in order. She made a dash for the door, but found her way blocked by non other than Malfoy himself.

Her eyes trailed up to meet his. He smirked. She blushed. It was always this way.

"Same time tonight, Hermione?" He whispered.

She nodded, her lips twitching up into an alluring smile. "Get some rest before coming over. Last night was just a dress rehearsal, babe."

Malfoy's smirk grew. "An _un_-dress rehearsal, you mean."

Hermione flashed a wink before pushing her way out of the classroom.

"You're gonna drive me insane, Granger." Malfoy called after her, as she strutted her way after Harry and Ron.

"Good. Misery may enjoy company, but insanity craves it," she called back.

She smiled as she caught up to her two best friends. Yup, she was insane alright.

Images of the past few weeks danced before her eyes as she contemplated the events that would surely take place tonight.

"You okay, 'Mione?" Ron asked her, having caught a mysterious smile on her lips for the tenth time that day.

"Just feeling a bit loopy today," She sighed.

And she _loved_ it.

* * *

**A/N: Please review! I haven't posted anything in ages, so I've forgotten what it's like to have review alerts in my inbox. *gets all nostalgic, tears up and runs away***


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